At the 3-6-9-12 association, we are very concerned about the importance of conversations between children and parents. Conversations to inform each other about the screens available, TV series and video games. Conversations too that allow a child, when they are upset by images they came across without looking for them, or that a classmate showed them, to be able to talk about them.
The website jeprotegemonenfant.gouv.fr, presented on 9 February 2021 for Safer Internet Day (Safer Inter Day), responds to this concern. It is aimed at parents of children aged 6 and over who may be exposed, deliberately or accidentally, to pornographic content in the digital space.
The existence of this platform is the consequence of pornography spilling over onto the web and into the lives of our young people. Indeed, by the age of 12, nearly one child in three has already been exposed to pornography, with serious consequences for their psychological development: shock, trauma, a negative impact on their developing sexuality, the trivialisation of the sexual act, the glorification of male domination and of violence against women… While pornography has always existed in one form or another, it is now established that it does a great deal of damage when freely accessible.
So what can we do?
While waiting for more coercive legislative measures aimed at the platforms themselves, the family and the school remain the first places of education in which to tackle these subjects. These tools are only warnings, telling us how urgent it is to take up the subject and talk to our children about it. The dodge of thinking that we adults built our own reference points without anyone talking to us about it, and that in the end we turned out fine, no longer holds up in a context where access to images is starting ever younger. The real remedy remains, and will remain, speech. It is what allows us to shape our thinking and our representations, to feel connected and therefore protected, and to build ourselves as individuals.
This is why the purpose of this site is to inform parents about the risks their children face, and to offer solutions to remedy them and so protect them better. During our workshops, many parents express how hard they find it to broach this subject. Which words to use? At what age? What should be said or not said? This platform provides some answers. Far from exhaustive, the avenues it explores are interesting and have the merit of making you think. It is up to each person to make their own recipe…
How does it work?
Prevent
Very practical and easy to access, the site offers the essential elements of good prevention: advice on digital use according to age, and how to set up parental controls. There are now a great many of these and it is sometimes hard to find your way. By filling in your profile (anonymously, of course!) you can get suggestions suited to the age of each of your children for each of your devices.
Support
A “your questions” section lists many questions from parents and tries to provide clear and caring answers. It includes: “how do I talk to my child about porn?” or “my teenager watches porn, how do I talk to them about it?”. Many resources can act as a go-between for the adult and the child. If words are lacking or hard to hear, the recommended books can be a support. The short videos are also very good starting points. They often feature young people, which makes it easier for our teenagers to identify with them.
Advise
Finally, elements of dialogue are recommended in a short video by the CSA. A young person explains to parents how to speak to their children. The exercise is telling, even if one may wonder whether it is necessary to stage an inverted-pedagogy scene to be effective.
Sophie BRUNETEAUX is a clinical psychologist and EDA (Education Développement Apprentissage) practitioner
