What if we talked about screens the way we talk about food?
If there were only one article in the world that I would like every parent to read, it would be Serge Tisseron’s, entitled “Neuf conseils pour gérer les écrans comme les aliments” (Nine tips for managing screens like food):
https://sergetisseron.com/blog/neuf-conseils-pour-gerer-les-ecrans-comme-les-aliments/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
Why? Because it offers a simple, powerful and deeply instructive metaphor for understanding our relationship with screens in the family. It invites us to look at screens as we look at food: not as something banned or demonised, but as a source of energy (potentially beneficial or problematic) depending on how we introduce it, ritualise it and make it social.
This food metaphor is so rich that it instinctively structures our understanding of digital technology in family life: portions, rituals, quality, sharing, rules… All these notions come naturally when we think of screens as food. And it is precisely this metaphor that inspires the Family Screen Use Charter we propose here.
1. Why a family charter? Understanding the essential issue
The omnipresence of screens (television, tablets, consoles, smartphones, computers) is now part of our daily lives. Yet many parents feel disoriented: how much time is acceptable? From what age? Under what conditions? This uncertainty often generates conflict, guilt, and a feeling of “fighting an invisible enemy”, like Don Quixote charging at windmills, multiplying battles without always understanding what is truly at stake.
At the 3-6-9-12 association, we propose a different approach: no absolute prohibitions, but a family culture that is thought through, codified, shared and evolving. The family charter is not a rule imposed from above, but a co-construction between parents and children, which makes it possible to turn screen use into a balanced, creative and sociable moment.
2. A charter that also applies to parents
An essential point – often forgotten – is that this charter does not concern children alone. It applies to parents too. As with food, it would be inconsistent to ask a child to eat a balanced diet while the adult constantly snacks.
The charter then becomes a mirror tool:
it helps us, as adults, to reflect on our own digital habits. We are sometimes very strict with children while being much more permissive with ourselves: phone always within reach, constant notifications, screens used without real intention.
Setting clear rules for the whole family makes it possible to:
• align words and practices,
• set an example,
• make the rules fair and credible in children’s eyes.
3. The food metaphor: an intuitive, reassuring and sociable framework
In his article, Serge Tisseron invites us to think of screens like food: they are part of life, but they are not consumed any old way. Food is ritualised: we eat at set times, we share, we choose what we prefer, we have a defined plate, we talk about what we eat.
In the same way, screens should not be “snacked on” all day long:
they should be framed, chosen, discussed and shared.
This metaphor is also very reassuring for children and future teenagers. It shows them that:
• rules exist for everyone, not just for them,
• the framework is there to protect, not to punish,
• it is normal for the rules to evolve with age, just as diet changes as we grow up.
4. The key principles of the family charter
a) Adapting to age and maturity
Just as a baby cannot digest certain foods, their brain is not ready to understand or handle complex or emotionally intense content. Screen use must be adapted to the child’s age and their ability to understand, filter and put into words what they see.
This differentiation by age is normal, healthy and reassuring.
b) Fixed times and defined portions
In food cultures, we do not snack all day: meals are at agreed times. Likewise, it is preferable to set screen time slots rather than allow continuous, disorganised consumption.
c) The right to choose and the quality of content
Offering the child a selection of programmes lets them exercise their power of choice, just like choosing between different foods. This right to choose develops their autonomy and helps them see themselves as an actor in their digital life, and not as a mere passive consumer.
d) Shared moments and dialogue
Meals are moments of sharing where we talk about the food, our tastes, our memories. In the same way, screens become a social and reflective activity when used together, followed by a conversation about what was seen or experienced.
e) No screens in bedrooms
Just as we avoid leaving food accessible at all hours in a cupboard, it is preferable that screens are not permanently present in private spaces, especially bedrooms, in order to prevent night-time and compulsive use.
f) Create rather than consume passively
Encouraging children – and adults – to create with screens (photos, videos, editing, programming, stop motion, writing, sport) turns the screen into a tool for expression and learning, and not a mere object of consumption.
5. Screen time, work and learning: making the distinction
A fundamental point of the charter is to distinguish between uses.
Just as eating healthily is a need, some uses of screens are necessary:
• work time,
• homework,
• revision,
• research,
• school or professional learning.
These times are not “leisure screen time”, but useful and structuring times.
The charter precisely allows this distinction to be clarified, in order to avoid confusion and guilt, in children and adults alike.
6. How to co-construct this charter as a family?
• Choose a calm moment, like sitting down at the table to discuss an upcoming meal.
• Involve every member of the family, young and old.
• Write the charter together, adapting it to your reality.
• Display it visibly, so that it lives in daily life.
• Revisit it regularly, because needs change with age.
7. Conclusion: towards a calmer family digital culture
In the end, the family charter must not be a punishment or an arbitrary restriction, but a support for dialogue, learning and family consistency. By looking at screens as we look at our plate, we turn a potential source of conflict into a space for sharing, creating and educating.
As Serge Tisseron reminds us, it is not only the time spent in front of a screen that matters, but how and why it is used. With a clear, evolving and shared framework, we help our children – and ourselves – to use screens with discernment, wisdom and creativity, rather than passively putting up with them.
R.AQC. 3-6-9-12+ Ambassador
